I really don't even know where to begin with my breastfeeding journey. Granted, it hasn't been that long, so I guess it just makes sense to start at the beginning.
Before Henry was born, I was completely in the 'breast is best category' and intended to breastfeed. I spent hours on the Internet, talked to breastfeeding friends, and enlisted advice from various nurses. I was prepared to do this!
Since Henry was delivered vaginally, we started the nursing process almost immediately after he was born; once he and I were both assessed. I am thankful to have delivered at a hospital that has amazing lactation consultants on staff and immediately assisted us in the first step. Right after delivery, Henry had an amazing latch. And it wasn't painful. I just knew that I had won the lottery and this whole breastfeeding thing was going to be a breeze.
Once we moved to the maternity floor, I napped for a bit and they brought Henry in early that morning (4am) for a feeding. He seemed to latch on pretty easily, but wouldn't stay latched for long. I would work my absolute best to correct him and make sure he and I were both comfortable, but you could tell that we were struggling. A few hours later, another lactation consultant came by and taught us a few more techniques. We practiced and practiced. He would latch perfectly, release, and then fuss incessantly. I was still bound and determined to do this. After all, women are made to do it.
While at the hospital, I had the opportunity to attend a breastfeeding class, where we were taught various techniques (football hold, anyone?); discussed bad latches and inverted nipples. It was so fun (she said sarcastically), but at least I was getting the information.
We decided to try with a nipple shield and let's be honest, it lasted for all of 5 seconds :(
Once we came home from the hospital...well, we were stressed to put it mildly. A new baby and a new house that was in complete and utter chaos. Stress, what stress?! And this new baby was constantly attached to me. I mean constantly. That is something that I was not prepared for. My naive mind was thinking he'll sleep a bit and then nurse a bit and sleep a bit and then nurse a bit. Henry didn't. He was attached to me all the time. Ask Tay. I hate to say this, but it was miserable.
Henry was crying constantly because I just couldn't give him what he wanted (I can say that, others cannot) fast enough and I was stressed and hormonal (4 days postpartum folks!) I talked it over with Tay and we had some formula that the hospital gave us, "just in case." All I can say is, thank God the hospital sent us home with a backup plan.
Soon thereafter, we started to supplement with formula and I was (and still am) pumping every two hours to build up my supply. Once my supply gets established, I plan to drop a few pumping sessions, but right now, I am tied to the clock and my pump. Once we started supplementing, Henry got worse and worse about nursing. He will root around and sometimes he latches, sometimes not. If he does latch, it's only for a moment, and then the screaming starts again. He was already getting used to the bottle :( To get milk from the breast, babies have to make an effort. To get milk from a bottle, babies don't have to make an effort. So it makes sense that he would prefer the bottle. And actually, it's easier. Now I'm not the only one responsible for feeding Henry. Before he was born, I thought breastfeeding would be amazing, especially since I am the only one who can provide it for him, but it turned into such a chore. And I know that's a horrible thing to say. Any mother who has ever had a newborn literally attached to her breast ALL DAY can attest to this.
You do not know pain until you've had a baby. Until you've had stitches in a very sensitive place. Until you've had a newborn attached to your breast ALL DAY. I shudder to think about a teething baby. Ladies who nurse up to a year and beyond, you have my respect.
I'm still in the camp that breast is best, especially since Henry has some tummy issues. We have tried every different formula known to mankind. We have tried gas drops and gripe water. They only work for a short period of time. When he gets only breast milk, his tummy seems to be calm. Calm tummy = happy baby = happy mama and daddy.
Now Tay and I have established plan. We will continue to supplement with formula and I will continue to pump to build up my supply. Sometimes it takes up to 12 weeks to get a good supply. In the early weeks after delivery, supply is ALL hormone based. After the placenta is delivered, your body goes into "cow" mode. By week 12, your supply is all about supply and demand; hence the incessant pumping. Once I start producing adequate milk for Henry, the formula will go away and he will be a breastfed baby. And I will be a happy mama!
I think in the end breastfeeding or pumping or formula feeding is up to the parents. Tay and I both know the benefits of breast milk and really want to make this work. The main goal is to keep Henry happy and healthy. If he gets that way from breast milk, great! If formula makes him happy, so be it, I just wanted to try. And I mean really try.
And I have no set timeline of how long I would like to pump for Henry. I think my first goal is three months and then reassess after that. I would love for him to get breast milk all the way up to a year, but it seems so far off! So I am setting a goal for every three months. Much more attainable, don't you think?
Post a Comment