The Lazy Chronicles

As I'm looking through my hard drive and all of the Norman photos, and trust me, there are a ton more than just the ones I post on Facebook and Instagram, I started to notice a pattern.

Norman's been lazy since day one. We knew that before we brought him home. We knew that we'd be sharing our bed with the beast, but the pattern that has emerged is the fact that almost every photo I have of him involves sleep or lounging. On our couch or bed.

So, enjoy this gratitous post all about my 150 pound beastly love, Norman.

And after all that hard napping, Norman wants to remind y'all to hydrate.

Norman May (or may not) be famous

Sometimes when my phone dings to let me know I have a new email, my heart sinks. I debate on checking it and then finally decide to give in...what if it's someone letting me know I finally won oodles of money?! So today, when the familiar ping hit my phone, I decided to check it; with the faint hopes of that CONGRATULATIONS email waiting on me...it wasn't there, but this was.

Every year, a local magazine up here, Click Magazine, holds a cute pet contest. And every year I forget to submit photos of Norman. This year was going to be different. I finally submitted numerous photos and have been patiently waiting on the magazine to contact me.

Well it happened today. Norman will be in print. And I've offically gone off the deep end when it comes to my pet. Sue me!

Once the magazine is printed, I fully intend to let y'all know! And will do a much more official post and hopefully showcase some of the photos I submitted.

Monday's are Rough

Or should I say ruff?

Norman hates Monday's just as much as any human. It means that mama and daddy are gone all day, and he's stuck at home watching whatever reruns are on TBS that day. I'm the person that leaves a TV on for my dog, and I don't find it weird at all. Thank you.

Getting this picture was not easy. He knows his commands, but when you put a size small bathroom on a 150 pound beast, he starts to get a little suspicious. And the wrapped towel was no easy feat either! The icing on the cake is the coffee cup...

I agree Norman, Monday's are ruff.

More from Norman

I realized that I've been a bad pet parent lately. Shameful, I know! I've snapped plenty of photos of Norman, but I realized that I never get around to posting them...so today is the today.
Prepare for Norman (Mastiff) overload.

And yes, I do love my dog. Dearly. He's my buddy. And here's what he's been up to lately. Napping.

My Two Year Old Mastiff

 So this big heaping lazy boy who is my best beastly friend is turning 2 next week!
Happy birthday big Norman!!
The above photo summarizes his daily life. No joke. You seriously woudn't believe how lazy of a boy we have. He plays for about 5 minutes in the morning and about 10 in the evenings. And the rest of his time is spent like this. 

Yes, we try to engage him, butwith his attention span and general lethargy, it's a difficult task to master.

 When the weather cooperates, we try to get out with Norman. The only thing about our area parks are that there are leash laws, but we are the only one's who obey them. There are always numerous little dogs, not on leashes who continuously antagonize Norman. And then the owners get a bit miffed when he barks or snaps .... I just politely smile and say, "Leash."

And when we are both home and Norman is tired, this is a common thing. He will cuddle in any way, shape, or form. He loves to cuddle. And sometimes, he's decently good at it - until he farts in your face :(

Snow Day!

Late last night - well 9:00PM, but I was tired, I received an email from my place of work that we would be closed today due to the weather. Thank God! I needed an extra day in my weekend anyway.
I had planned to use it as a catch-up day, but then my fat Norman ran outside and couldn't get enough of the snow. And that's about when I decided to grab the new lens (Lensbaby Spark) and start practicing with it.

My model was having a hard time sitting still. I don't think he's ever seen snow - and he was loving it way too much! As seen in the below photos.

Stay warm guys. And stay indoors...don't get out unless you have to. We had to get out this morning for Krispy Kreme, but it was an emergency :)

**The amazing selective focus in the photos was achieved with the Lensbaby Spark, my new best friend.

This is My Happy Face

Have you ever noticed that mastiff's always look so sad :(
Well I just happen to have acquired this shirt (thanks Tay) and I decided it was high time I throw it on Norman and let the giggles begin!

Norman know the command, sit. But when I put the shirt on him and asked him to sit, he must have thought it was the end of the world. It took a ton of coaxing and an ENTIRE box of Scooby Snacks to get this...so well over 30 minutes of work, for the one photo - the story of my life!

Things to Consider Before Buying (Rescuing) A Mastiff

I remember the very first time I saw a mastiff, an English Mastiff. I was in third grade and had just finished watching the movie The Sandlot. Hercules or the Beast was an English Mastiff and I was immediately smitten.

Too bad we already had dogs and my parents were not keen on adding another to the mixture.
Cut to about 8 or 9 years later.

My mama and I were headed to Yazoo City to buy a new/used car for her, with $1,000 in our pockets.
We picked up the classifieds and searched and searched for a car. They were all too pricey :(
I continued to entertain myself (before cellphones were super prominent) by thumbing through the classifieds and just happened upon the dogs page.

There, in large bold print, MASTIFF PUPPIES $1000.
We had the money. And I had the dream.

So, what do you think happened?
We got a puppy!
He was beautiful and fluffy and everything I had ever imagined a big ole dog to be.
Dudley was the first Mastiff I loved (he's no longer here, and I don't want to talk about it!), and he's led me to getting more Mastiffs.

Moses was the next Mastiff.
We adopted him from Southern States Mastiff Rescue.
Visit their site and please consider adoption.
http://www.southernstatesmastiffrescue.org/

We loved him dearly. For years. But then, as what happens with most of our 4 legged creatures, he went over the Rainbow Bridge.

Since Tay and I have been married, he's known that we would have a Mastiff or two or 12.
I let him know up front that I wanted to be a crazy Mastiff lady - similar to a crazy cat lady - but a little more socially acceptable.

Now, we are the proud owners of Norman. Click the side label: Adventures from Norman to see more of his antics!

Things you need to know about getting a large dog:

 - Most people think that large breeds means more space. That is not true. Mastiffs are content in small spaces - wide open spaces are not necessary.

- They require exercise, but a very little amount. I used to take Norman on daily walks, but then I realized that he was losing weight. Now we go the park once a week, but we do play in the backyard and/or living room daily.

- They will not eat you out of house and home. People always say, "I'd get a mastiff, if  I could afford to feed it." Guess how much money we spend in one month for Norman's food? $20. That's it! We buy Pedigree Large Breed Dog Food in the thirty pound bag for about $20 a month.
See? Not expensive.

- They have no concept of personal space. If you are cooking in the kitchen; he'll prop up against you in the hopes that you'll love on him and/or drop food his way.

- They think they are lap dogs. If you are sitting on the couch, floor, or laying in bed, they will be directly next to you or on top of you. Mastiffs have a thing for always touching their people. I think it's their security blanket. If you don't like your personal space invaded, don't get a mastiff.

- They will destroy things (while in the puppy stage.) All dogs do, but when your beast is only a pup, be careful about what you let him chew on. Chewing on shoes as a puppy is cute - as an adult dog, not so much. When we HAVE to leave Norman all day - which breaks my heart - I'll come home to him laying on the couch; with my pajama pants next to him and my shoes under his jowls. He never chews, just using them for the smell I assume.

- Food training is important. Large dogs need to know where their food comes from. You.
When Norman was a little pup, we would put food down, let him eat a little, and then take it back up.
Why? We were teaching him that WE feed him and training him to not bite our hands off. It worked!

- Crate training will save your life. Crate training is amazing. Norman was the first dog we crate trained. It cut down on the potty training time, and now, as an adult dog, he knows that the crate is his safe place. He still sleeps in his crate, only because it's in our room and he can't stand to sleep alone. We tried letting him sleep alone on the couch at night - he would end up at our door in thirty minutes scratching and crying to get in :(  The magic words for getting Norman in his crate? "Norman, let's go night night." Done.

- They are protective. Not of food. Not of toys. But of you, their person. Their human. They will be loyal to you until they die. Remember that.

- They are subject to bloat. This is an issue with large breeds. Sometimes, when large breeds eat too much or too fast and then decide to play, their stomach will twist. It will cause them immense pain and you some exorbitant vet bills. To cull this, we feed Norman a small meal in the morning (after he's played a bit) and then a small meal in the evening. Our personal rule is no hard/rough play 30 minutes after eating.

- They sleep. A lot.  No, he's not sick. He's just fine. He just likes to sleep a lot. There is nothing wrong with that or him. If you are looking for a hyper or active breed, this is not the dog for you.

- They have gas. Bad. And can clear a room in no time. And it scares them, which is utterly hysterical! 

- Remember, he's bigger than you. And could hurt you with one single bite. But he doesn't. Why? Because he loves and respects you. You should treat him the same way. Hitting a dog will not teach him a lesson. What's effective with Norman is a loud, "NO." Then we looks at you with sad eyes, wanders over, and wants to know you still love him. And of course, we do.

- Their average life span is about 10 years. Some last longer, some a lot shorter. When you are thinking of getting a mastiff, be sure that you can devote 10 years of your life to make his something special. If you don't have the time, don't waste his. When we got Norman, Tay asked me if I was prepared to let him go (since their lifespans vary). I told Tay that my goal for our pup was to give him the best life possible. If that's only one year or 12, my dog will have lived his life to the fullest in a house full of love and play and naps.

Having a dog is a wonderful thing. If you can't commit to a dog, then please do not get one.
You will continue with your life, while surrending your dog to a shelter. To me, that means you are careless and mean - and I have no tolerance for that. There are no excuses.

If you are considering getting a dog, please look at adoption first. Adopting a dog has some awesome benefits and opposed to buying a puppy. Most dogs from shelters/kennels are already potty trained, some have been fixed, and most are even socialized. Plus no puppy whining or gnawing!

Rant over.

Norman - The Epitome of a Laid Back Breed

Yesterday, Yahoo featured a story about Mastiff's being the most laid back breed.
Check it out here:  http://shine.yahoo.com/pets/5-most-laid-back-dog-breeds-142800008.html
I couldn't agree more, Yahoo.
And just to prove their point, here are some photos from my Mastiff's laid back days - that are filled with naps, food, more naps, and a little play time.

 This photo was after 20 minutes at the park. He was exhausted!

 I don't always sit on the couch, but when I do, I take up the whole thing.

 Upside down.

 The studios mastiff. 

 The napping mastiff.

The alert mastiff.

Personal space? What is that?

My dog has a penchant for taking up too much space. He's a supersized version of most normal dogs, and we knew he would grow into a beast, but taking up an entire couch is just in poor taste, Norman!

But he sure does love his TV time with his daddy.

I've been trying to think of a caption for this one: "I don't always lay on the couch, but I when I do, I leave no room for others."

Mastiff Play Date

Yesterday, I posted about Krystal and Matthew's downtown Memphis engagement session. This post is about their pup Grizz and our boy Norm - BROTHERS - who are meeting for the first time.

Our Norman is a year and half. Their Grizz is 10 months. They are brothers from different litters.
For weeks and weeks leading up to this day, I would randomly tell Norman, you're going to meet your brother. When the day finally arrived, I started packing things in the car and Norman looked all sad, "I guess mama is leaving again, I'll just go nap on the couch."

But when I said, "Norman, don't be sad, you're going with us!" He started following me around the house..."where we going mama? When are we leaving? You sure I get to go?"

Long story short: We went to Shelby Farms Dog Park. The brothers had a blast. Norman slept the whole way home, the rest of the afternoon/evening, and then till about 10:00 the next morning. He was exhausted!

Giving us the guilt trip

Freedom!

I always heard that mastiffs were afraid of water...not these two!

Is he behind me?

He's still there isn't he?

And this is why mastiffs are the best dogs ever. Get outside with them and a camera. You will NOT be disappointed!

Their faces are priceless.

And they will do whatever their master asks of them. Get on the hay Grizz, ok. High Five!