She's here, she's here!
Sidda Lee Skelton
December 20, 2018
2:05PM
7 pounds, 6 ounces
18 7/8 inches (tiny for us!)
Our last doctor's appointment was December 12, I was barely dilated one centimeter and sent home with strict instructions; do ANYTHING to get this baby out! I had been taking evening primrose oil for about 2 weeks to help soften/efface the cervix, bouncing on the birth ball, walking, literally, ALL THE THINGS except for castor oil 😮 We assumed since castor oil worked with Shepherd, that it would have the same effect on Sidda.
I started with a half dose one day - NOTHING. NADA.
The following day I took one full dose - stomach cramps, nothing consistent, lots of back pain.
The next day, I took one more full dose, and had consistent contractions about 10 hours after the dose; noticeable, much more painful that period cramps, but bearable. Those cramps/contractions lasted from about 9:00PM till about 1:30 or 2:00am and then stopped. Done.
The next morning, our doctor, who Taylor works with, told him to make sure I was at the clinic for an impromptu checkup. At the checkup, sweet Sidda wasn't moving as much as he would have liked, and it seemed as if she was measuring small, based on funal height. We were sent across the street to the hospital for a few tests; a biophysical profile (BPP), a non stress test (NST), and a contraction stress test (CST). I've done a BPP and a NST before, but the CST was something new to me.
We started with a regular ultrasound and found that sweet Sidda wasn't measuring anywhere near where a 41 weeker should be measuring; it looked like she stopped growing around 35-36 weeks. The BPP watches her closely on the ultrasound for certain behaviors/movements. Sister has to move, kick, swallow, etc...all in a certain time frame. I'm 98% sure that the only reason we barely passed it was because I ate a Snickers and drank a Coke during the procedure. Once the BPP was over, we moved into the procedure room for the NST, which is a Godsend. You are told to lie back, relax, and just count movements. As a mama to 2, being told I get to take a break was the best thing EVER. We passed the NST with flying colors; thank you Coca Cola Company and Snickers!! Next was the contraction stress test, which can induce contractions and see how well baby reacts to them. In order to induce these contractions, I had to stimulate my nipples. Y'all, I HATE nipple stimulation. HATE IT. I asked Taylor to help 😏, he politely declined (insert eye roll.) So I'm sitting alone in the procedure room, playing with my nipples. Yep. Happy Wednesday. They started some really mild contractions, but nothing notable.
Once all the tests were over, we knew we were going to be admitted for an induction. We would be admitted that evening. Damn it. I hate inductions. Hate them. I hate the medicines used for induction. I was induced at 40 weeks, 4 days with Henry because of pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and it was a horrible experience. If you want to read Henry's birth story, CLICK HERE
We left and went to have some Mexican food for lunch, come on spicy foods! We then went home trying EVERYTHING to get this baby to come; birth ball, sexy time (twice because why not?!), walking, more castor oil.
We treated the rest of the day like a normal day. We didn't tell anyone but family about the induction and we told no one about her measurements; why worry unnecessarily? We went home and snuggled our big boys, took them out for a pizza dinner, and then came home for more snuggles and bath and bed time. The official last day as a mama to 2 little boys. So bittersweet.
We checked into the hospital at 8:30PM on Wednesday evening for our induction. Upon admission, the nurses wanted to administer an IV and fluids, but I had planned on drinking during labor and didn't want to be tied to an IV pump unnecessarily. Thank God for my Taylor, he asked if we could just do a hep-lock instead; and they agreed. Praise the Lord!
At 9:15PM, the nurse came in to administer the first dose of Cytotec vaginally. I had done my research on Cytotec and definitely wanted to avoid any induction agents, but this evil was definitely lesser than the demon of Pitocin. Let's do this!!
That dose caused really sporadic contractions, noting of note, I'm not even sure the monitor was picking them up, but I knew they were there! At 3:15AM the second dose of Cytotec was administered, this time orally, and this caused consistent mild contractions about 4 -5 minutes apart.
At 6:00AM, I was given the third dose of Cytotec. Since I was technically being induced, I had to be on a monitor so the nurses could get a strip on Sidda and make sure she was handling the contractions okay. Her heart rate stayed consistent, had the normal ebbs and flows of labor, things were good!
My water was broken at 7:45AM in an attempt to get the contractions to be more productive and avoid Pitocin. I know that breaking the bag of water puts you on a clock, but I was confident that sister wouldn't hang out in there for another 24 hours!
Once my water was broken, and the initial gush/flow had subsided, I wanted to walk. Time to walk sister down and out! I double checked with my nurse and we made a deal. For every hour, I would have to be attached to the monitors for 10 minutes to get a good strip on sister. As long as sister was looking good, we were good to keep on keeping on! I put on my Wonder Woman underwear, strapped in a maternity pad, and started walking. All around. I was 3 centimeters, leaking fluid, and felt GREAT. I was having a baby today!! There's no feeling like that in the world.
As I walked the halls, I felt the contractions become harder and more noticeable. Earlier I could notice them, but didn't have to focus any attention on them...I just got through them. At this point, there wasn't really any 'getting through them.' It required some attention. In one of my loops around the hospital, I ran into the hospital administrator , who didn't know I was in labor, he had assumed I was there for a checkup. After chatting for a moment, I felt a contraction start to come up and it needed my attention, I'm pretty sure I growled at him; " I can't talk right now Courtney!!"as I grabbed the wall and braced myself for the contraction.
As this point, I'd felt as if I'd made some significant progress. It was about 1:00PM and the contractions were begging for my attention. I really wanted to do this without an epidural, so I found a different coping mechanism. Music makes me happy. A lot of my memories are tied to certain songs. This time I had read about using certain songs to help you get through the contractions...I knew that if I started singing a certain song when I felt the contraction start, that by the time I got to the chorus of the song, I would be on the other side of the contraction. This also let Taylor know where I was in the contraction. Once I was 'over the hump,' I told Taylor, I'm over it. The contraction is still going on, I'm still in pain, but it's easing up. This one is almost done. Each contraction brings me closer to my baby and you NEVER have to go through the same contraction twice.
The song? FROM NOW ON from the Greatest Showman...you are welcome.
This is the face of a laboring woman who is OVER IT. DONE. EXHAUSTED. And who was just checked and was only 6cm. Only 6?! A general rule of thumb for labor (every labor is different) is a centimeter per hour...by that math, I have 4 more hours of this? I am done. I debated heavily within myself about getting the epidural. Before labor ever started, Taylor knew if I mentioned the word 'epidural' that I didn't mean it. In previous labors, when I have mentioned getting an epidural, it was during transition and at that point, you're almost done! We had a safe word. Epidural was just another word that day. Oh, and our safe word? Luftwaffe. It's been our safe/code word FOREVER...In a conversation you want to leave, casually mention German aerial warfare; at a party and it's time to go? LUFTWAFFE.
Since I was the only woman laboring that day, my nurse started to get the delivery room ready so we could go ahead and make ourselves comfortable in there. At this point, the contractions are every 2-3 minutes. During them, I felt like I was going to die. When the contraction was over, I was myself. Laughing and talking and joking. I had decided that maybe a sucker and the extra sugar would help me get through these next few hours. As I'm standing half naked in the delivery room sucking on a sucker, a contraction comes over me that consumes me. It owns me. I cannot do anything but give in to it and the pain. I screamed at Taylor to rub my back, press my hips together, massage my sacrum; nothing worked. NOTHING. At this point, mean me shows up and tells Taylor to brush his teeth and then cusses at him for leaving my side. Labor is a crazy thing. It's wicked. It can turn the nicest person into a raging lunatic.
After that contraction, I felt the need to pee and walked into the restroom that is attached to the delivery room. As soon as I sat down on the toilet, I felt another contraction start to creep up and take over me. At this point, I felt pressure; and an undeniable and indescribable urge to push and push with everything I had within me. That contraction finally subsided and I walked out into the delivery room and it was EMPTY, except for Taylor. No medical staff. No one.
I screamed at Taylor as the next contraction started that I NEEDED to push; it wasn't something I could control. I let go. I let it all go. As famous midwife Ina May Gaskin says, let your monkey do it. Stop worrying about offending someone, stop worrying about embarrassing yourself, stop worrying if you're going to pee or poop during delivery; just STOP and let go and let your primal instinct take over and let your monkey do it. Birth is an instinct. Let your instincts take over. And I did. Relinquishing control to the pain didn't make it hurt any less, but since I didn't know what to do, my body did. She took over.
As Taylor walked away to hit the call button, I screamed at him for leaving me. He hit the call button, and instead of telling the nurses to come to the delivery room, all they heard was me screaming and guttural moaning; letting my monkey do it. As the nurses ran down the hallway, they call the doctor, who is next door conducting clinic next door.
At this point, I managed to string together about 867 F words in a 6 second span. I was hurting. It felt like my body was being ripped in half. I screamed, I'm ripping my clitoris in half!! HELLO crowning and that burning ring of fire! Looking back it was funny, but during the moment screaming that made it real and made me feel better; vocalizing what I was going through. Between the cusses and the guttural moans, I was getting sister HERE!
The urge to push gets stronger and stronger and I cannot control it. I don't want to control it. I want to let go and let sister come. It's the only way I can get any relief is to LET GO.
I scan the room and do not see my doctor. I see my amazing nurses, and another doctor that I've never met, but I don't see mine. The man who knows how to push my buttons like Taylor does, but who I trust a million percent to take care of me and my babies. He treats my babies like his own and I NEED him there for this.
He RUNS into the room, quickly throws on a gown and in one BIG push, I deliver Sidda's head safely into his waiting hands. Once her head emerged, he noticed a nuchal cord and slipped a finger under the cord and slowly released the pressure on her head/neck. At this point, my contractions have slowed slightly and the urge to push isn't present at the moment. This is my *rest* period and I am thankful for it. I hear Dr. Donahoe tell me I need to push and I need to push now...I say I can't. I can't. I'm tired. I need a break. I look over at Taylor for affirmation that I deserve this break and he sees the nuchal cord and knows that I need to push and I need to do it NOW. He tells me I can take a break in a minute, but you need to push. And I did. And the rest of sisters body emerged, safely. And I felt RELIEF.
Our sweet Sidda Lee was here. I went from 6CM to 10CM in less than an hour and her actual birth was very quick and traumatic for her. The nuchal cord put a little stress on her and she ended up passing meconium as she was delivered; poor thing was stressed. Her eyes are still bloody, at a week old. But she's beautiful!
After sister was delivered, it was time to deliver the placenta...much easier to deliver, but I HATED the way it felt coming out. At this point I was touched out. Done. I even screamed at my doctor, DON'T TOUCH ME! He said (and this is why I adore him), 'it's going to be while before anybody goes down there, let me make sure you didn't tear!' 😂😂
After birth, the entire staff left the delivery room and let us just be 'us' for about an hour. It was wonderful. I didn't require ANY stitches (after you've birthed an 11 pounder ANYTHING is easy - you can read Shepherd's birth story HERE ) 🙌🙌 so immediately after birth , everyone was gone and it was just us. With our girl. With a swollen face and blood shot eyes. But we adored her.
After our hour of skin to skin, I walked back into our room. See blood trail below. Pretty sure housekeeping hated me! I kept apologizing while walking down the hallway as the sweetest women followed me around with a mop 😬 I've never treated pregnancy like an illness and I didn't intend to treat labor and delivery like this huge medical issue. I treated it like a normal part of life. And it has made my labor, birth, and recovery that much easier.
After a shower, I donned my mesh panties, a fresh maternity pad, and it was time for Sidda to snuggle her daddy and meet her brothers.
The boys absolutely ADORE her. They call her big fella and try to snuggle/kiss her all the time!
I'm used to having baby boys that want to nurse immediately after birth. Sidda said no thanks mom, I'm cool. She wouldn't latch. She couldn't swallow. We think her swift descent and delivery put too much stress/pressure on her, and she just wasn't ready to eat yet.
So I pumped and pumped and pumped, getting about 2cc's of colostrum each time...but it counts! Sister was syringe food those first 2 days, but hey, she was fed! After a meeting with a lactation consultant; we corrected her latch, taught her how to do it properly and here we are...full blown nursing!!!!
Also, when the hospital Christmas party falls the day after you deliver, you get some BOMB desserts. And I may or may not have eaten the entire plate.
We knew that since we had a standard vaginal delivery, we would be released within 24 hours. Sidda had different plans. She couldn't eat, couldn't maintain her body temp, and her bilirubin was way too high. So we stayed in the hospital from Wednesday until Sunday and she spent 98% of her time under these bili lights. Do you know how hard it is to have a newborn that you can't hold? Or snuggle? She only came out for diaper changes, and the occasional need to nurse.
Sweet Sidda Lee Skelton is our angel. We are so proud of her, and blessed to call her ours. She's the perfect baby and I can't believe she's mine.
As long as Taylor and I have been together, the name Sidda was on our radar. It's been one of top contenders, but we didn't want to name her in utero and then the name not fit. Once she was born (and that HORRIBLE swelling went down) we decided Sidda was the best fit. Everyone at the hospital kept asking her name, and we kept saying we don't know!!! We finally found it. And love it. And her.
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