As a precursor, let me say this, I am happy. I am endless happy. My husband is a saint. My boys are my biggest blessings and driving force. My business is where I always wanted it to be, but I feel like something is missing.
Do you ever feel like you're not doing enough? Like not serving your purpose? This is not about me as a work at home mother needing more, this is about me, as a person, a small business owner and a two time mother needing to share and help and counsel and wanting to be an asset to others and our community.
I always thought that I could achieve what I felt I needed through photography and documenting families and love and craziness and chaos and the realness, but I've come to the realization that not many people value actual photographs like I do; let alone a full priced photography session. Recently, people have inquired about photo sessions, and once I send them my informational guide and my shooting style along with a price quote, I never hear from them again or I get the "okay, that's too expensive" or "you aren't quite what we are looking for." Or even the dreaded, "My friend has a nice camera, I'll just get her to take some for us." I'm not going to say that depresses me, but it's hard when others don't value your medium, let alone your work. Your work that you devote so much time to. Between shooting sessions, editing sessions, educating myself, attending workshops, updating gear, etc...How you value me or my work has no bearing on me as a business person, but as a person in general, it plain sucks.
I feel like my work is where I always wanted it to be. I'm shooting ideal clients in ideal locations and my images convey exactly what I want/need them to, but I still feel like I could do and be more.
My heart, my soul, my brain, all of me is yearning for something. I have yet to find out what that is. Somehow, I want to give back. I want to help.
I'm in between a rock and hard place. Rent this amazing space in town so Skelton Photographie has an actual studio and office? Continue to build up my business and invest all my time and money into something that not everyone values?
I realize that everyone values photographs, but not everyone values the time it takes to make them or the cost to get them done. Or my shooting style. I shoot differently than most people. And I print 75% of my images and they adorn my walls. Why? Because I value photographs. Are all of my photographs perfectly exposed and obeying the rule of thirds? Heavens no, but they represent where I am and what I am surrounded by.
The passing of my grandmother only solidified something for me; print out your photos. Hire the expensive photographer whose work you find absolutely stunning, it's an investment and it's worth it. Print out the DAMN photos. I'm thankful to have photos of her with my grandfather, with us as kids, with us as adults, with us and our kids. I'm thankful they are real and tangible and adorn my walls and not some hard drive stuck in long forgotten cabinet. I've sorted through (and stolen) so many of her photos, and can't wait to go through more in the coming weeks.
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| My grandfather, rocking the red solo cup...trendsetter, y'all, trendsetter! |
Want to know something? Our family photos that we had in September 2016 cost more than I'd like to admit, but I practice what I preach. I have followed that photographers work for many many years and jumped at the opportunity for her to photograph my family. I applied for a new credit card, paid for the session on the credit card (zero percent interest), FINALLY paid off the session and then canceled the card.
Once we are gone, all that's left are memories. Photographs are tangible evidence of those memories. There are many things I can do without in life, photographs are not one of them. They tell us who we are, where we've been, what we've been through; they tell our story better than our own words ever could.
Book the photographer.
Pay the money.
I urge you, print out your photos.
Right now, at this point in my life, I'm at a crossroads.
I honestly don't know what to do. Taylor, my biggest supporter, has said that he will support me 1000% on whatever I decide. How awesome is that to be blindly supported? God, I won the lottery with that guy. Tay, thanks for putting up with my incessant rambling, idea tossing, scribbled note mess of a person that I am. I'm thankful that you've seen my freak flag and you proudly wave yours right next to mine.
Okay, rambling over.
Thanks for listening.
Your regularly scheduled family and photography blog will return later this week!
Also, as a note, this is not me phishing or seeking validation. This is about me being transparent with my friends, my family, clients, and future clients.
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